only if we run a train.
done.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
