Clothes are such an inconvenience.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize