i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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