Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I would fuck him just for his dog
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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