my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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