I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The uberlube is also flammable
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
