You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
