I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
