Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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