So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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