I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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