i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
