that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
