i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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