what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
