Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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