so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize