i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
dude. I can hear the air.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
