Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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