Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
