evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
