She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's shark week go big or go home
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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