Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
and she was petting her beer can
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
