Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
