i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
