After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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