I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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