this boner is exhausting
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
