Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
