The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
