I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
