his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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