U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
