It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Someone signed my nipple.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
