She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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