When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
