May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize