absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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