you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
