I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
