Just cropdusted the office
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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