Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
