i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
soo... how was my night?
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