weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
