I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
