It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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