She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
