Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
