Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
