I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize