I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
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