So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
