Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
