I'm eating all of the evidence.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
