Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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