Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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