I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
