...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize