Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
