I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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