I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
im holly from the hills drunk
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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