i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
and i looked up. we had an audience...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
