so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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