Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
