I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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