My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
