Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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