Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
