happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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