We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
