you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
