The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Welp...herpes.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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