I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
