Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
