Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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