i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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