I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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