I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
